I am a loser. I will never win. I don't know. I feel lost. I lose to everyone. 

I've tried to be the first again, but I can't. I don't know why. It's not a blessing when you're not the only one on top. It's not a thing you should be happy about when you're not the first. It's like, I don't know. I feel like screaming. I miss the feeling of superiority, the pride of being the first in everything I do. 

My parents say I am gifted. I'm more special than other kids. They say I can do better than them. But I never trust them. I won't. I can't. I don't trust myself then how could I trust other people?

I am a loser.


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