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"I think I was more of a boy than you when I was young. I rarely cry, I went out and play with boys and I fell a lot but I am sure I didn't cry a lot when I was a child."

"But you seem to cry a lot nowadays, don't you? It's the opposite of me."

We had this conversation weeks ago. Made me realize how much time could change somebody. Indeed, I was not that kind of kid who would cry a lot. I kept everything inside, had this powerful grip to keep my emotion intact. I wasn't vulnerable. I honestly think my heart was made of huge wall; hard to be penetrated by anyone. I don't even know why. If only I could stay the same way as I was years ago, I definitely would.

Being vulnerable is not an advantage. But then again, its not even bad. I am not even sure of myself. I tend to trust someone quickly, which, I think, is bad. Honestly, whenever I let personal stuffs out of this mouth (usually something very personal e.g. my suicide attempt), its usually on t…

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its all over the place



as usual, me making zero sense

:) (Part 1)